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I have a few weddings to go to next month....

But the most important one is for one of my best friends. He has been through testicular cancer and lost one of the jewels. He is 31 years old and nobody expected him to live. However he has survived and in the meantime, his girlfriend (now fiance) has since been diagnosed with cervical cancer, she has been through chemo twice, most recently having a tumor removed off of her liver a month ago and is now diagnosed as terminal with 8 additional tumors throughout her body from head to liver (again). Her dream of being married is going to be fulfilled next month.

I am not giving the best man speech as I am not the best man, but my other best friend is the best man. I hope to help him make a meaningful speech, but how do you make a speech that makes their day? At this point that is the most important thing. I suppose no matter what, everyone will be in tears, I am just hoping that the unfortunate experience of someone else can help us through this difficult yet joyful day. For anyone uncomfortable with responding in the public thread, please pm me. I really need some advice.

thanks,
Joey

the best man is the best man for a reason. he should know the groom as well or better than anyone. so speak from the heart. no need to drum something up. if your goal is to wow an audience, then youve missed the entire point. the most important thing, IMHO, is to remember who the day is about - the couple. keep the focus off of the "speach" and yourself and let the happy bride and groom know just how amazing you think they they are and how grateful you are to be part of their lives. bless them and raise your glass.

blessings, by the way, to the bride and groom.

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sweat the small stuff.

Joey, I'm sitting here after reading this, and I'm crying.
This is really heavy, and sad.
I'm going through stuff with my mother, who is 85,
and dealing with the "recession",
and getting old and hurting, and this just hit me hard.
It's going to be hard for somebody to say a "speech" at the wedding, without crying.
I learned that at my dads funeral.
If you could make up a song for them, that would be easier.
If you can't do that, I would be honored to write and send you a song, an mp3,for the occasion.
I'm so sorry for them.
pm me, if you want.
This is really sad.
alan.

Joey, I'm recently married. I'm still really taken back by how special the day really was. I thought it would be beautiful, I thought it would be special. But you can't imagine or really understand how beautiful and special it really is until you're right there in it. I don't remember what my best friend said when he gave a speech, but I remember what his presence and shaking hands meant to me. It's the unexpected surprises that make it meaningful.

But as a teacher, I also know it's not natural for everyone to imagine something into being. So to offer a more practical tip, perhaps start by thinking about the unexpected surprises you really remember about your friendship---the indelible things.

you may already know this -

but you want to highlight the love they have for each other, helping each other through these rough times. You also want to thank them for everyone in letting theirs friends into their lives to enjoy this special moment.

I too am sorry to hear the story as it is touching. Maybe a picture/video montage a the wedding would be a nice tribute to.

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It's this new idea from recent decades that everyone gets a participation award. - MUX