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Did you ever here the joke about the ducks that were arrested for blowing bubbles in the pond?

So a duck walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says:"Do you know that your pants are down?"

So the Bartender says, "How do you keep your feathers so fluffy?" Duck says, "Downey!"

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Waddy

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Sound Clips of most of my guitars

Mike your nickname wouldn't happen to be Bubbles would it???


Guy walks into the doctor's office with this big duck on his head.

The doctor looks up and says, "Yes, sir, can I help you?"

And the duck says,

"Yeah, can you get this guy off my butt?"


Three women die in an accident and go to Heaven. When they get there, St Peter says, "We only have one rule here in Heaven: don't step on the ducks."

They enter Heaven, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, they try their best to avoid them, but the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man."

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks. One day St Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. He is tall, tanned, slim and muscular.

St Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The woman, thinking that this is great, remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity."

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."


Dead Duck:
A woman brought a very limp duck to the veterinarian's office. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet duck Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the lab and led it out of the exam room. He returned a few moments later with a cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. She screamed, "$150.00!" "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now $150.00."

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"It's a Tone Faerie thing"
"Da goal is to sharpen ur wit as well as ye Sgian Dubh"
"Sippin Loch Dhu @Black lake" ,Kirby O...

Just in case someone does not know it:

Three ducks were brought to court. The judge asked the first duck what it's name was and why it was there. The duck answered, "My name is Quack and I was blowing bubbles in the pond."

The judge looked confused but moved on to the next duck, asking the same question.

"My name is Quack Quack and I was blowing bubbles in the pond also."

When the third and last duck walked up the judge said, "Let me guess, you're name is Quack Quack Quack and you too were blowing bubbles in the pond."

The last duck answered calmly, "Nope, my name is Bubbles."

A lady walks into a bar with a duck. The barman asks "hey, where did ya get the pig?" The lady says "that's not a pig, it's a duck!" The barman replies "I was talking to the duck!"

Astounding isn't it, how a thread sort of takes on a life of its own?

Pat

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formerly known around here as burbank
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http://www.patfosterguitars.com

Cheers

Kim

Dont buy the premis of this joke ! The Ducks smarter than that !

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The Shallower the depth of the stream , The Louder the Babble !
The Taking Of Offense Is the Life Course Of The Stupid One !
Wanna Leave a Better Planet for our Kids? How about Working on BETTER KIDS for our Planet !
Forgiveness is the ability to accept an apology that you will probably NEVER GET
The truth will set you free , But FIRST, it will probably Piss you Off !
Creativity is allowing yourself to make Mistakes, Art is knowing which ones to Keep !
The Saddest thing anyone can do , is push a Loyal Person to the point that they Dont Care Anymore
Never met a STRONG person who had an EASY past !
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